Category Archives: Experiences

Our good deeds are worthless

Al-Bukhaari (520) narrated that Buraydah said:
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever does not pray ‘Asr, his good deeds will be annulled


When it comes to Ramadan, so many of us pray and fast. We know it is required of us. We are conscious of Allah, of His SWT wrath, and His SWT mercy, we love Him and fear Him.

Even those who do not pray at all the rest of the year will pray in Ramadan. Part of the reasoning of this is as we want our efforts in fasting to be rewarded. We Don’t want to go the whole day without food and drink. We struggle and strive in order to receive a reward from Allah, we want His SWT mercy and blessings. We want our duas to be answered, and in this holy month, we understand that prayer is required in order for our desires to please Allah and benefit from ibadah to be a reality.


Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen was asked in Fataawa al-Siyaam (p. 87) about the ruling on the fasting of one who does not pray.

He replied:

The fast of one who does not pray is not valid and is not accepted, because the one who does not pray is a kaafir and an apostate, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“But if they repent [by rejecting Shirk (polytheism) and accept Islamic Monotheism], perform As-Salaah (Iqaamat-as-Salaah) and give Zakaah, then they are your brethren in religion”

[al-Tawbah 9:11]

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Between a man and shirk and kufr stands his giving up prayer.” Narrated by Muslim, 82. And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The covenant that separates us from them is prayer; whoever gives up prayer is a kaafir.”

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2621; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi.


However what we seem to be failing to truly understand and internalise is that this ruling is not just for Ramadan. The one who does not pray, all his good deeds will be invalid.

Whoever abandons the ‘Asr prayer, his deeds of worship become void.

This means that our striving, our dawah, our smiling as it is a sunnah, saying salaam, looking after our children, being good to our husbands, EVERYTHING that we do, is of no use to us in akhirah if we do not pray.


It is pointless being seen as a person who inspires and does good, it is pointless giving sadaqah, fasting, hajj EVERYTHING is pointless if we do not pray.

It is pointless as it will not benefit us in the akhirah.

Everything we do should be first with the intention to please Allah. But if we don’t pray, we don’t please Him SWT.

Think about this, take a moment to digest.

All the good deeds you do in a day. From making your husband a cup of tea, to feeding your kids, to smiling at your neighbour, to sharing beneficial knowledge. Think about all the things you do in a day.

What potential for reward is there?

What are you missing out on?

In Ramadan we understand that this is the month of mercy and blessings and we are afraid of missing out on the rewards.

However Allah SWT in His mercy, has given us so many opportunities out of Ramadan to gain his pleasure. In every action we do, every moment of the day there is an opportunity to gain his pleasure.

Giving £1 on layalatul Qadr may be like giving £1 every day for 83 years, but every moment of every day not in Ramadan we still have opportunities that are just as important to our scales of deeds. For every intention to do good there is a chance we will be rewarded.

By not praying we are throwing this down the pan.

We are no different in the merit of our deeds then those who do not believe in Allah.

This hadith is seen by the scholars as a severe deterrent. SO let us heed it. Let it deter us.

Let us be just as worried about the struggles and deeds we do daily being accepted, as our efforts in fasting being accepted.

It makes no sense not to be.

This is a reminder to myself first.

May Allah guide us and strengthen us, May He SWT allow us to continue the good habits we have upheld during Ramadan during the rest of the year. May He increase our iman, and accept our ibadah in all that we do. May He SWT guide us and keep us on the straight path and grant us jannah.



A glimpse in the mirror

Today as i was preparing to pray, I glimpsed in the mirror as I was putting on my hijab. In that instance I saw a transformation in the image of the reflection before me. The girl in the mirror changed from one who looked chaotic, curls everywhere, ready to party, one that you could easily imagine committing sins, She changed in to a woman who radiated elegance and serenity, who looked respectful, pious, calm, secure. Sorted.

This shocked me. It made me think. How does the world perceive me? Are people’s perceptions of me and my own understanding of myself so far removed? How does the hijab effect me? How does the way that others treat me effect me?

I think of myself differently in the house from outside the house, that much is true. Inside the house I think of myself as that confused, struggling girl. My thoughts are chaotic and all consuming. My emotions run riot within my head. My heart desires what it shouldn’t.

Outside the house I am calm, I am well mannered, I am a peace maker, I try to enjoin others to good. People respect me and are kind to me, and tell me I inspire them. Outsiders could never imagine me thinking the thoughts that flutter within my mind.

But what would they think if they saw the girl in the mirror? Am I a hypocrite? Or am I covering the sins Allah has covered for me?

 If you draw closer to Me by a forearm’s length, I will draw closer to you by an arm’s length. And if you come to Me walking, I will come to you running [Hadith Qudsi]

 Maybe hijab is part of this. When you wear it it changes peoples perceptions of you, and therefore your perceptions of yourself. It inspires you to live up to its ideals, to behave while wearing it. It inspires you to be a better person. Hijab becomes part of your identity, so that the woman wearing the hijab, the elegant one, with nour radiating from her face, that is who you become. InshaAllah

It seems that my hijab creates that barrier between me and haram, makes it hard for me to commit haram alhamdulillah, makes me think twice, and others think twice before inviting me to haram.

And the chaotic girl? She is still there, just beneath the surface, she may always be there. She is a part of me that I cannot deny but need to learn to live with. Learn to be at peace with. She is my history, my inclinations, my learnt behaviours in defining times of my life. She is the embodiment of my nafs. Maybe it was the daydreams that wouldn’t get out of my head, or the glint in her eye at the moment I looked in to the mirror that made me see her. She is my constant companion.

She is my test.

 ‘The best of you are those of you who fall into trials and then repent.”

Ya Allah, make me of those who sincerely repent.

Ramadan reflections


My first day of fasting was easier then I had anticipated.

Before Ramadan started, to be honest, I was worried. The thought of fasting was inconceivable, although I have done it before. It just seemed something that would be a struggle and a hardship! Although, of course I was looking forward to Ramadan at the same time. I really thought I would find not eating and drinking hard.

I remember when I was in South Africa, and talking to my cousin and his Muslim girlfriend about the fasts in London, and how long they were, and my cousins reaction was incredulity “No one can do that!” He said, my reply was “We all did though”.

I think sometimes as Muslims, especially those brought up in Muslim families in which fasting is the norm, we forget or we do not realise what an achievement fasting is. How those who do not fast view it as a feat of epic proportions! It just seems impossible to fast 18 hours a day for 30 days straight. Yet somehow we manage it. We manage it out of taqwa.

On the first day of Ramadan, I found refraining from food and drink surprisingly easy. I did not really think about food much. Kept busy. I felt a bit drained but nothing I couldn’t handle. When iftar came around I didn’t even feel hungry anymore!

However, unexpectedly I found controlling my thoughts a lot harder then controlling my food intake. My mind had been in the habit of thinking in a certain direction, linking certain comments and conversations with specific actions or thoughts. When I was at rest my mind wondered and wandered to places it shouldn’t go. While I was drifting of to sleep, or day dreaming. When I was having conversations and specific words or phrases reminded me of things.

For the first time I became consciously aware of the fact thoughts, backbiting, and so on could break your fast. I became scared that my fast would break, not as I would deliberately eat or drink, but because I couldn’t stop my mind drifting. Because certain thoughts I shouldn’t have, I held on to. The way I had been used to before Ramadan.

It just shows you the methods of the shaytaan. He knows he will be locked up so makes his preparations months in advance.Why are we not doing the same? He gets us in to these habits that will diminish our rewards in Ramadan. Make us waste our time and our efforts.

May Allah make it easy for me to resist the fitnah.

JazakAllah Khayr

Asalaamu alaykum,


It has been 3 months since I started working with Newham Islamic Learning Centre.

Alhamdulillah this has been an amazing opportunity, and in this short time I have been able to do so many things and gain so many skills and new experiences.

If you asked me 3 months ago I would have thought it to be inconceivable that I would have ran a holiday scheme for children, or a Ramadan workshop!

I am grateful to Allah SWT for guiding me to NILC. He SWT is truly great and answers duas that I don’t even know I made!

The best thing about working with NILC has been to have found brothers and sisters who share the same ethos and values as me, who really want to make a difference in the communities we live in, yet at the same time know that success and failure is in the hands of Allah.

As well as this I truly enjoy my work. I like being busy and involved. I love the kids in the madrassa, and in the holiday scheme! Their energy is amazing and inspiring.

I love my sisters and brothers who have supported me at NILC for the sake of Allah.

InshaAllah I hope to continue working here and continue learning and growing.

May Allah bless us all with good


A “Predatory Teenage Girl” Speaks Out

A “Predatory Teenage Girl” Speaks Out.

Spend on Charity!!

Spend on Charity!!

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said that Allah The Glorious and Exalted Says: ‘Spend (on charity), O son of Adam, and I shall spend on you.’

Asalaamu alaykum brothers and sister.

After attending SHeikh ABu Bakr Shatri leading salaah yesterday, my ten year old niece got inspired and pledged to raise £100 for the charity that is fundraising on the Sheikh Abu Bakr Shatri UK trip. This charity Is the EWADA foundation, which works in the drought stricken area of Somali Land. They spoke of the children there, and said every single child when they asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” They did not say “Doctor” or “lawyer” they said hafidh mashallah!

May Allah make it easy for her to raise this amount, and provide her with much encouragement and support, and may she be an inspiration to those around her and always remain steadfast on the deen inshallah.

If any of you would like to support her in raising her target, then please get in contact inshallah.

Jazakallah khayr

The danger of nationalism

nationalism, asabiyya,

Yesterday I had a realisation. A realisation of why nationalism is so dangerous. Of why it is condemned so badly. I want to share with you part of a facebook chat, in which I was trying to find out about the events in Pakistan, and the conversation meandered to encompass past events, from the perspective of those people who were living in the country at the time. I will leave you to guess which one I am!


so then did he attack?


Women nd children slept ourside in the cold while he stayed in his 5 star heated bunker .if it was imran khan he would have slept outside in the cold with everone


So they all got scared and then wanted to discuss with him
He gave his points and stuff told them we want this out new elections and lots of other beneficial for the public and the government said yea

So really he won and now he left Islamabad and shod be coming back to Canada shortly


Big deep breath

A I knew u wod say sumfn opposite
Us pakis are werid why do we have to suspect


Basicily it was conspiracy to side line imran khan nd thats what has happend


We gvn the butaz xardari and te bolides a chance


Y its true the man’s not sincere


Oh come on
He had no agenda
He point
No party


suspicion is haram

how is his character before this?


Yes Imran didn’t join him bt that his loss h cod be wrong Allah knows
So u and me the illiterate about politics shod just enjoy the British country and say allahumdullia we ain’t in Pak


If i made a mosque i would only make for ALlah swt nd to get sawab but why has he got such a huge mega pic of himsel outsid. The mosque? Never seen anyother mosques with photos of the ppl who made them..


The mosque on romford rd the pics outside


we are not illiterate lol


Yea well we dnt no te deep do we

They are sly


Yeap true personal opinions but ALlah swt knows best


But i did like benazir bhutto


but we are not bystanders

we should be involved in politics man

politics is just making sure people have good life

Allah swt knows best, but he has Given us Quran to tell us how to live

to live by Allah swt law that is the best.


Yes true


but it wont happen unless we make it happen

we cant just say nah leave it to someone else

and even if we dont achieve it, that is in Allahs hands, it is fardh on us to strive for it


The one who looted the country and ran off to uk or USA lived here for so long escaped her punishment and decides to go back and face the music
Bt her hubby gets her killed and ppl
Lame illiterate ppl again become emotinal and gv him the vote
Imean what does he know about politics



thats what my husband said yesterday

he gone look at bangladesh two of the prime ministers been women

both their husbands mysteriously dies




in reality it is coz the women are easier to control then the men


It’s the kursi man

U dnt wana gv it


so they kill the men get the women in power and she is just a puppet




you know when the first Caliph died, the others argued coz they didnt want to be caliph

they knew it was big responsibility

and look now dont wanna give up kursi lol


They shod have called the pakis
They be more happy to take over


No man i mean benazir was so educated nd stuff nd ppl say what does imram khan no about politics but u hav to let somone new in if u wamt change what hav the others done?


change has to be the right change though, not just change coz it is good to change




we just said Allah has given us the best law, the law which is most beneficial to us


Even though i think musharaff was excellemt


the best change is the change towards that

what is the measure of excellence though?


Yes musharf was cook


Had gd English and had personality

Although his was a gaddar


^^ is that why he was good?


No n when he was in charge he ram the country good he’s frm the army has good disipline





a, my point is, that as Muslims we measure good by the means Allah swt gave us


I do not know what he did, but if he brought the country closer to the lwas of Allah is good

if he let americans have army basses in pakistan and kill civillians and kidnap and torture peopl from his country then he wasnt good


Few his good points
He gave media the freedom
He took of our debts
He stopped porn
He gave women their rights and more

He was good first then went bad


Wasn’t his fault though when the whole world was angry about 9/11 he couldn’t say no or face having pak bombed on nd sanctions i no its selfish but that was the choice




a that is the problem

everyone is scared of america

people gonna let them in to kill kids and rape women and we gonna say it is not his fault he had no choice


in the time of the sahabah the whole army went to war for the honour of one woman


Me i support imran


now is aslong as our country is ok it dont matter if we make deals with this shayteen?

i wouldnt support a muslim without a beards man



Wel N those Days are gone

We cnt compare that


what the fuck man

we are supposed to follow the way of the pious predecessors

not say those days are gone

we are supposed to follow Allahs shariah

and if it is not being implented then we are supposed to try and get it implemented

y you might as well say those days are gone we dont need to wear hijab man




The Americans justify it saying there targetting terrorists


I dnt no we ain’t the ones to lead that are we
It’s the men
Plus it says in the Quran Allah has made it like that
Look there will be a time not even a single Muslim will pray
The nearer we come to qaamat we getting worse

It’s coz the life


it says in the Quran we are commandeed to enjoin all good and forbid all evil


what we gonna sya there is gonna be a time where no muslims will opray so lets not pray then?


Yes bt Allah has to fill the jahanunum aswel int


the women did a lot too man

there is enough non muslims to fill jahannam

a just said women and kids were sleeping along the march with al qadhi


Yes women spent 5 days slept on the rd with kids in te frozen


see so women do get involved to


They wanted a change


if women want to change the way things are they have to get involved in politics.

There are two things that struck me from this conversation. The first is something that made me angry. Angry in the way that you just cant help it, that hot feeling came from inside me. That was when I was told we cannot be like the sahabah, we cannot expect men the state to defend the honour of women.  We should still strive to be like the sahabah,

But the part that really affected me and will stay with me forever, was “A” saying Musharraf had no choice, he had to protect his people.

Like only Pakistanis are his people. That because of an imaginary red line on the map, drawn by kuffar, that the people on the other side of the line are not his people. SubhanAllah, are we not one Ummah? are we not brothers and sisters? Do we not care if our Muslim leaders aid and abet the killing and torture and rape of our brothers and sisters and children as long as they are on the other side or an arbitrary line, are they not from us, not part of us because of accidents of births? and as Muslims we support these leaders? welcome them? praise them? defend them? defend those who let the shayteen in to our homes? In doing so can we say these countries are dar ul Islam, or do they become dar ul harb? Can we say going to such countries is hijrah? how can it be?

The realisation of nationalism meaning it is ok if you kill those on the other side or the border as long as Pakistan zindabad, really stuck with me.

It was one of those things where I had read and learnt about nationalism, but the full realisation had not quite struck me till yesterday.


Ya ummati, join together, do not fall for the remenants of the colonial divide and conquer system, together we are strong, but divided we are like the froth on the sea.

 the messenger of Allah said: “It is near that the nations will call one another against you just as the eaters call one another to their dishes.” Somebody asked: “Is this because we will be few in numbers that day?” He said: “Nay, but that day you shall be numerous, but you will be like the foam of the sea, and Allah will take the fear of you away from your enemies and will place weakness into your hearts.” Somebody asked: “What is this weakness?” He said: “The love of the world and the dislike of death.” (Abu Daud)

a few relevant hadiths.

Abu Hurairah reported that whilst the prophet, Allah blessed him and granted him peace, was talking, a Bedouin came to him and asked: “When will the hour come to pass?” He replied: “Wait for the hour when trust will be destroyed.” He asked, how it would be destroyed, and he said: “Wait for the hour when the rule will be entrusted to those who don’t deserve it.” (Bukhari)

and a reminder of what Ummah means.

“The Muslim Ummah is like one body. If the eye is in pain then the whole body is in pain and if the head is in pain then the whole body is in pain”

Nationalism is the enemy of ummah. It is what prevents the Ummah from being strong.

My dad is a terrorist.

So, I have just come back from 2 unexpected weeks in South Africa, as my dad was taken ill. 

While there I came to the surprising revelation that my father was a terrorist.

This wasn’t due to new information, just a change in the way I think.

Let me describe the scenario to you. We are all sitting in the family room, my 2 year old son is whizzing around, my dad had an afternoon pass from the hospital and was at home, and they were teasing me, telling my dad that my son was a terrorist (Muslim connection of course). Me and my dad often have this witty banter thing going on, so without really thinking I said,

“He must take after his grandfather then” at which point everyone stopped, and looked confused.

“Don’t you know my dad is a terrorist?” This was met with more silence

“Don’t you know he was in prison for passing messages to the ANC and for terrorism!”

at which point the penny dropped, they all laughed and agreed with me that My son must be following his grandfathers footsteps.

But the thing is it really made me think.

My dad is a terrorist.

He left his homeland because he was a terrorist.

And now it is all forgotten, no one is bothered, everyone is glad there were people like him who did the things they needed to do to keep the ANC going and bring an end to the real terrorists which were oppressive regimes.

“One person’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter” well finally I grasp the full implications of this statement. I can see it not only from the point of view of someone who is currently viewed as a terrorist by many, who others believe is not, but also from a future viewpoint in which those people tortured for terrorism are now hailed as having been essential for the creation of a new non oppressive state to be created.

I also read a book while I was there. It was about a white girl growing up in Tanzania with a dodgy father. It mentioned ANC training camps and arms deals in East Africa. It made me wonder, was my dad going to a terrorist training camp? was he going with messages of tactics or intel or supplies? Was he going to meet with an arms dealer? I mean he mentioned once when he was arrested the man who was translating for him said don’t worry I am not who you think I am, and later he saw that man in the new ANC government in 1994. But my dad wouldn’t tell me. Like the true politician he kept changing the subject.

Imagine those to day who are considered terrorists who support training camps or do arms deals, what will those in the future think of them?

It does not negate our tragedies

Our brothers and sisters around the world are suffering,

they face situations we cannot imagine or comprehend the reality of,

no graphic pictures can make us understand what it is to be there,

we get on with our every day lives and sometimes we worry,

then we stop,

what are we worrying about?

Think of Gaza,

there homes are bombed,

so what if my home is bad,

Think of Syria,

so what if it is hard being Muslim here,

no one is forcing me to worship a man,

and burying me alive if I don’t,

My child’s school is bad,

Think of Libya,

where they took the children from school,

at least mine are safe.

The sickness and death of a Gazan, or Burmese, or SYrian, may be in different circumstances,

but to person whose relative is sick, the grief is the same,

they may say

At least we have fully operative hospitals,

but we don’t need to say that.

We don’t need to try and feel less grief and worry and sadness as others have it harder.

We can only judge things based on our own experiences,

things effect us based on our own life, not the lives of others.

The tragedies of others does not negate our personal tragedies.

Make dua for my dad.

The moment when

The moment when your heart skips a beat when you see “palestine, occupied territories” on your view by country list.

I am honoured to have Palestinians viewing my blog, please feel free to comment on your thoughts, feelings and situations.

Our prayers and thoughts are with you

%d bloggers like this: