“Like a grown up kids?” – The burden of husbands.

In every marriages there is ups and downs, periods of adjustment, getting used to each others habits, new situations, changing surroundings.

Some Muslimahs get themselves in the situation in which they think that having a husband is a burden; “It is like having a grown up kid”. They feel the needs and demands of their husband along with the inability of their husbands to help them out, and do simple tasks like clean up after themselves or pick their clothes off the floor, increases their work load. Instead of being a support and comfort and companion, they are a burden. Instead of helping, they make things more difficult and add to a woman’s never ending “to do” list.

Then sometimes the Shaytaan takes hold, the woman thinks that life may be easier if she didn’t have an extra person to feed and clean up after, and organise. That things would be simpler, get done more quickly and to her standards, life would be easier.

But what is the reality? Would it really be easier?

We all know that being a single parent is hard work, and every woman who makes the decision to become one doesn’t take it lightly. Every woman has to make the decision that is right for her, and they know how much they can take.

But for those who are pondering their life, their desires, what they want from their future take a moment to think and be grateful.

It all comes down to would it be pleasing to Allah for you to be single? Would being single benefit your Islam, your deen, your imaan?

Whatever the faults that you may perceive your husband to have, does he increase your ilm, prevent fitnah from harming you, preserve your chastity?

Would you have the same amount of time to study Islam, go to classes or do whatever you do? Or would you have to focus on working, and doing the stuff you need to just get by.

These are all reasons to be grateful. Preserving ones chastity is a reason to marry, so of course it is a reason to stay married.

Don’t entertain the whispers. Don’t dwell on the thoughts that come in to your head.

Alhamdulillah alla kulli hal

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Posted on 21/10/2012, in Experiences, marriage, Women in Islam and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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